hey, you.
please never feel like your emotions don't mean a thing. I care so much about you and what you are feeling and I know you didnt get to know him very well but death affects everyone. And it affects everyone differently and at different times. There is nothing wrong with wishing you could have known him better and loved him more. I wish very much that he could have been here thus year at United, but it does nothing to sit around and think of what could have been. Think of what was and what is. The times you saw him and got to talk to him he smiled, and you smiled. And I think that is one of the most important things. He remembers you, I could almost put money on that. Its very hard that he is gone and we can't grow our friendships with him anymore. But we can be better friends through dealing with it. And if someone thinks that u shouldn't be upset cause you didnt know him very well, who cares what they think. You are hurting and thats natural. I am honest I felt like that sometimes and I am very sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me and I was selfish and hurting beyond belief and I hope you can forgive me for that.
And you,
life is so weird how it is here one day and gone the next. Remember in elementary when you wore button up flanel shirt and hightops? You were probably the coolest funniest kid in school. I know u can't read this. Ever. And that hurts so bad. I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't understand how you could be doing so good and all of a sudden it is your time to go. You were on fire for God, you could have changed so many lives. But really, when I think of it. You DID change so many lives. At your funeral about 10 of your friends and family accepted Christ and that may have not happened if it werent for this. You brought our youth group so much closer through us sharing our pain with each other and most of all you helped me to realize that my life could be over with one single arguement gone wrong. Thank you for everything you taught me without even knowing you were.

UNITED '08
was so amazing. I am changed. I learned so much and I am tired of living life like it doesnt matter if I am worshipping God every second. Because it does. If I am not worshipping God every second I am worshipping Satan. And Satan hates me. I know that my God loves me. So I will worship him every second of every day. It hurts to be left out when we split to groups. It hurts to be the one people are fighting over who is not going to be partnered with me. And I don't think you know it but it hurts to only be wanted when your other, better friends can't hang out or ditch you or are busy. As much as all of that hurts, God wants to be everything I need and want so I try to ignore it. And I don't care that u think I am weird for wanting to read my bible in class or if u think I am boring becuase I won't do some of the things u do. But I am changing and worshipping God with all I am. So I am sorry but I am going to try and ignore that you may not like that or may not want to listen to me or hang out with me because its different than everyone else and your friends might think of u what people think of me. I have to say I'm going to try to just get over it and be happy. I am learning so much and I have had a great couple of days because I am surrendering to Christ alll the time. And I am finally starting to feel happy.

Where are we gonna go from here?

His palms and sides were pierced with spears

He hung in love just to draw you near

My girl, out of this whole world

Can't you see this is where we started?

 

And you say everything is different...why don't we just hold on?

 

Time to get OH excited!  NO don't you hide it!

If you haven't heard, I'm sure its just sheena and cody reading this and i know you have heard, but INCASE you havent....
OUR NEW BUILDING IS AMAZING.
GOD is going to do so many things with the new building and everything all the excitement we have, I JUST KNOW IT!

It is one thing when Jesus fills us up and gets us all excited and we are FULL of Him and we are just loving Him with everything inside of us. That's wonderful!  But if we get too full and never pour anything out then we will start judging, going to church in habit, living for ourselves, etc.  We have to spill out the love of Jesus that's filling us up!! 
John 7:38  in The Message says:

Jesus cried out,"If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.  Rivers of living water will brim and spill out of the depths of anyone who believes in me this way."

We can't keep it in!!  It is kind of like saying "YOU cant have MY Jesus!!!! HES MINE!"  That's kinda selfish!  We have to SPILL out to the people in our schools!  And even in our home!  Its like putting a bucket on a lamp!  What's the point of a lamp if it has a bucket on top of it?!  HOW WILL PEOPLE SEE?  HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW???

One day my life was glorious
I'd end each day victorious
I was living in the light above

These days that light is faded
Heart broken vision faded
Can't stop the clouds from forming covering the sun

I wanna go back to the start
To way it used to be
Back to my first day home
I Wanna go back to the start
Where you changed the heart of me
Back the my first day home

I'm not askin' for a throwback
No way I'd want to go back
To the person that I used to be

Then I again I guess It's always
Wasn't so concerned in those days
All that really mattered was that I had been set free

Before the days of findin' ways to try to make it right
With what I give you
I knew that grace was not a place inside my mind
It was you